June 7 Blog Edited.jpg

I missed HIM. I missed IT.

So, this past week both my kiddos got sick. My five-month-old daughter was sick Sun-Mon; luckily it was short-lived, but always scary. Then, my almost four-year-old son got sick Monday morning and had his first day of normal eating today. He was the sickest we’ve ever seen him; after the throwing up stopped, he just didn’t rebound. He literally laid in bed for a full day without getting up, he had little interest in food or liquids. It was a battle to keep him from needing an IV. It was scary; it was traumatic (I suspect I’m speaking to the choir here), and the hardest thing of all was how much I missed my little man.

I. MISSED. HIM. I missed his often overly-energetic, super-opinionated, big-hearted, fun-loving, talkative nature. When, one day, he clicked in for about two minutes and laughed about something, I almost cried—he was still in there! Watching him play in the water at a picnic yesterday, I was filled with a deep sense of satisfaction—he was playing again.

We were at a dear friend’s house for a play-date, and I think that kicked him into eating action. Today, he ate normally; actually, he basically ate ALL. DAY. LONG.

This illness gave me a new perspective on what people with truly ill kids must experience, and my tiny little dose of missing him made my heart break for what they go through, and I knew deep down that my little guy would be back, that this was temporary.

Now, here’s what was surprising. I. MISSED. IT. What, you ask? Body Back, Exercise, Snacking every two hours, the whole thing. My legs felt funny and antsy. I missed my regular snacks, and yes, definitely found it harder to control my eating without them. I missed the zen of working out with a group of women who will never ever judge you. I missed the end-of-class meditation. My whole self missed what has apparently become my new norm.

Talk about a change in perspective?!?! Missing exercise and eating every two-three hours (you know because life totally overwhelmed me with this curve ball)? I never in my life thought I would say it or feel it. It’s shocking and exciting to me. It’s part of what I feel is becoming the new me, that I didn’t realize was starting to exist until it was temporarily taken away.

In the last Body Back class I got to go to, Katy picked a quote to share with us that has stuck with me, and I’ll leave you with it in the hopes that maybe you’ll experience something in a whole new way too.

“One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” ~Henry Miller